I KNOW!!!

Mary also counts channeling Sarah Palin among her many talents.

Mary did it all – interesting and insightful movie reviews, delightful and informative local features, thorough interviews. When I read the news she posted, my immediate thought was, “No one is safe.” (My immediate thought after the one about Mary, of course. Of course.) I mean, if Mary, MARY! of all people could be laid off from her job that she worked tirelessly at and probably already for way less than what she deserved, then what’s that mean for the rest of us schlubs in this economy?

It’s bad when our nation’s banks go into hock. And it’s bad when the one-time national manufacturing behemoth closes up factories and then over a thousand dealerships. But it’s really, really bad when our neighbors lose their jobs. Neighbors who are really, really good at their jobs.

I’m trying to take the road less panicked.

Bob Heiss, co-owner of Cooks Shop Here and host of the show I produce for WHMP, Off the Burner, said a theme to look for in these dire times was the communal supper. I love that idea. I know Greenfield does the Free Harvest Supper every year. And of course, there are the meals given out across this Valley all week long by the various and wonderful soup kitchens and pantries. But I’m imagining something a little smaller, less grand. Maybe amongst groups of friends, people coming together more frequently than just on the weekends to share what’s in their cupboards and fridges, to save and stretch a little more.

A pal of mine had a bread and water party instead of a wine and cheese party. I thought that was a clever response to the pinching and biting climate.

Other things that are free to do that keep me calm nowadays:

1. Walking my dog.
2. Adding to the Heavy Things page.
3. Calling National Grid to complain about the crap ass job they did on felling the tree that was leaning on a wire next to my yard.

Crap Ass Tree Felling Job

4. Drinking water.
5. Reading blogs like Mary’s, Tom Devine’s, and Jim Neill’s.
6. Whistling.
7. Riding my bike.
8. Tapping my foot.
9. Believing.
10. Sitting around friends’ bonfires.

These are crazy, crazy times we’re living.  But if we keep focused on the moment, on what we have, as opposed to don’t have,  and on staying connected with each other, we’ll see it through.

My house.  Dinner.  Bring an app.  I’ll start on some sort of fritatta.

Good night, Sweet PowerBook G4 of 2001.

I hardly knew ye.

Hello, new MacBook...and debt. Hi there, debt.

They really know how to package an experience at Apple.  Honestly, from start to finish, the opening of the box, plugging in, turning on, and logging in was nothing short of thrilling.  But then again, I don’t get out much.

Speaking of thrilling, did you hear the news?  The Superman roller coaster at Six Flags is being renamed Bizarro after the anti-Superman villain.  I don’t think the name change is thrilling, it seems rather pointless.  But that roller coaster is thrilling provided you’re not in the runaway car that slammed into the one waiting at the gatehouse.  That wasn’t so thrilling as it was unfortunate.

The End.

That wasn’t the end of the story.

The story goes after that I took a slug of water, walked the small dog and then sat down again to figure it out.  I was having difficulty uploading an image.  First it loaded two of them.  Then it looked all wonky and had strange borders.  When I tried to de-upload one of the images, it told me my mother sucked cocks in hell which was horrible.

But again, after the chaser of water and delightful walk with the pup, I was able to sit down with a clearer, calmer head.  I successfully uploaded the image and carrie on with the rest of the E-mail’s creation.  Look for it in your inbox within the next two days.

Here’s where it got a little weird.  After signing up for C.C.’s sixty-day free trial membership, I received an E-mail welcoming me.  Nothing strange about that.  It’s de rigueur for any Internet service.  But two hours after I joined, I received a phone call from a number I didn’t recognize so I rejected it, de rigueur for any cell phone user receiving a call from an unknown number.  Listening to the voicemail from that number after, I discover it was Bridgette…from C.C. welcoming me to the service and leaving me her direct number were I to have any questions for her about it.  Anything at all.

“Wow!”, I thought.  “You don’t get that from PayPal.  But India would be a long distance call, I guess.”  I saved the number in case I did feel like giving Bridgette a call about anything…at all.

Cut to the part where I started getting frustrated.  I was running out of time in my day that I could devote to the C.C. project.  All I had left was five minutes before I had to jump in a car bound for Hartford.  Was I going to call Bridgette to talk her through my trouble or vent about it here?  Of course, the latter.  It was going to take a lot less time and give me more immediate satisfaction.

Cue John Carpenter Halloween theme music.

During rehearsal later that afternoon, another voicemail was left on my phone.

“Hello, Kelsey, this is Desiree from C.C.  We discovered you’re having trouble with our service and we’d like to rectify that.  Please give me a call at your earliest convenience.  Thanks!”

It’s interesting how quickly they went from helpful to kind of stalk-y.  How’d they guess that I was having trouble?  They must have those spider things that spend all day and night crawling through our internet tubes looking for references to them, huh?  Is that some kind of CIA-spies-like-us technology or what?  Seriously, is it?

It’s kind of spooky to me which is why I’ve spent this whole time referring to them as C.C.  I don’t want them poking around seeing me reference them with my mother sucking cocks in hell and then suing me for slander.  I don’t know much but I do know those spider-things probably can’t read sarcasm.

Any insight into the matter from people not from C.C. would be much appreciated.