The Susan Boyle Effect

You watched the performance.  Here it is again in case you’ve been trapped under something heavy for the past two weeks or you need a refresher.  (The embed option has been “disabled by request.”  Meh.)

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So here’s my question.  What if Susan Boyle had walked out on to that stage, did her little jig of the hips from side to side, opened her mouth to sing “I Dreamed a Dream” and something else entirely different burst forth?  What if a totally tuneless, pitchless, warbling came out? 

We’d know about her for a different reason.  “Look at who this woman thinks she is!!!”  “What a disaster!”  The Susan Boyle Effect could also be dubbed the Reverse Oscar Effect.  You know the Oscar Effect – the most beautiful actor becomes the most hideous character and Bob’s your uncle!  They get an Oscar nomination if not the award.  I think the opposite holds true in waking real life.  The more frumpy, homely you are, the more you stray from the norm of appearance and behavior, the more outstanding your talent must be in order to be celebrated.

That makes me sad.  Sure, I’m happy, delighted, ecstatic for Susan Boyle.  But she’s just the one who was able to knock it out of the park and stick it to all those who’ve rolled their eyes at her through a lifetime. 

I’m not quite sure what my point is here but I think it’s along the line of acceptance.  We’re still far and away from it as a crowd and a culture.  There’s a proving that’s required of us by us and it starts early in life and becomes more and more difficult to succeed at the older we get. 

I think I’m rambling here so I’ll end and take the dog out for a walk.

But I’m not done with this!

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Posted in Artsy | Tagged | 2 Comments

Walloped.

Last week, Jaime and I took a vacation in our backyard.  The same backyard that I constructed a compost bin in not too long ago.  We dug holes, clipped back branches and yanked Oriental bittersweet from the ground with the help of suffering good friend Dan Manseau.

Dan dug the biggest holes, extracting entire stumps from the earth.  I’m sure he went deeper than is legally allowed without a permit.  I told him to watch out for water pipes.  He said he was listening for any kind of “clank” sound.  I was not reassured.

Dan always manages to look crooked.

Dan always manages to look crooked.

There was all sorts of stuff back there as it’s a backyard that has not been used in over twenty years.  There were old screen doors, broken down bricks, and roofing materials.  But it was that Oriental bittersweet that was the worst.  THE WORST!  I’d find a vine of it and start to pull, and this entire network of roots would start to lift up from the topsoil and span across the yard.  It got very creepy, very fast.

I started having these waking nightmares, as I continued to pull it up and unwind it from the fence, of waking up the next morning and finding it coursing through our bedroom window, one finger-like tendril as intent on my demise as I was on its.  It didn’t help that I had just finished reading this fascinating New Yorker article about pythons taking over Florida.

But I survived the entire week’s vacation and made it out with just a black eye.

I'd look tougher with a cigarette coming out of my mouth.  But I quit.

I'd look tougher with a cigarette coming out of my mouth. But I quit.

I got clocked by a feisty little sapling.  I was trying to wrest it from the ground when it balled up its twiggy little fist and let me have it.  I ran in the house to cry and left Jaime to take care of it.

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Posted in Projects | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Don’t Forget!

Mother’s Day Brunch…

The setting...Hotel Northampton

The setting...Hotel Northampton

…on MILF Island!

The event - MILF Island Brunch

BYOMILF

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It Happened on Edwards Square

Walking home from my noon-time stroll with the pup, we happened upon this.  It appears to be the claw of some sort of chicken reptile, no doubt.  The scaly fingers, the pointy claws, the waxen yellow look of the skin.

Chicken Reptile Claw overview

Chicken Reptile Claw overview

When we first came upon it, I thought it was someone’s discarded root vegetable.  You know, when you go to pull your keys out of your pocket, your root vegetables sometimes fall out on to the pavement.  Then you end up at your bedside table later that night, pockets pulled inside out, wondering, “Where did I put my root vegetables?”  But I digress.

Chicken Reptile claw in foreground

Chicken Reptile claw in foreground

On closer inspection, we determined that the translucent noodly parts were not a root system but some sort of chicken reptile ligaments.

Chicken reptile claw, palm up.  I think.

Chicken reptile claw, palm up. I think.

And here’s what pushed it up over the vegetable category clearly into the animal, both the dog and the cat kept going back for another sniff.  They don’t do that for root vegetables.

I know downtown isn’t necessarily zoned for chickens, but what about chicken reptiles?

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Posted in Awesome, Downtown Stuff | 3 Comments

Welcome, ______________.

Hello people who read the Best Of… Advocate of this week, April 15th.

I’d like to thank the voters in the 2009 Best of the Valley Readers’ Poll for voting my defunct, deflated, detached, just plain de-a-d blog Paradise City Best Local Blog.  It’s really nice of you all.  Thank you.

However I am but one person distilling one experience of one perspective in this great big Valley of ours.  We all walk around this beautiful side of paradise every day having singular experiences and I want to use this opportunity of unprecedented advocacy-journalism media attention to do some advocacy for those capturing the goings and comings of Valley life better than I.

First there’s the man who’s been blogging for longer than the term itself existed, Tom Devine.  I make that distinction not as a snarky comment on age but as a tip of the hat to his lengthy tradition of consistently wonderful musings on his experience of the world around him from space to UMass to Beacon Hill.

Then there’s Gazette writer Mary Carey with her AboutAmherst.  I love her candid reflections and confessions.  Just today I learned that she used to be a department store Easter Bunny.

Another regular stop for me is Jennifer Myszkowski’s blog.  Again, she’s someone who’s been detailing the antics of her life on and off stage for a long, long time.  Lately, as she’s been pursuing stand-up comedy more steadily, it’s been exciting to read about her discoveries within the craft.  And it’s just nice to catch up with someone you love but never see.

Jim Neill’s Life in the NohoDome is a must-read.  That man has more in his head than most and the way he puts it all, really ALL, down on the virtual page is pure elegance.  Plus the photos of his walkabouts downtown are one-part painterly and one-part story.

Daryl Lafleur’s Northampton Redoubt on the Advocate’s site definitely deserves a shout-out.  I can’t think of a more detailed writer of what’s happening around City Hall.  Daryl goes through meeting minutes with a steel flea comb and I mean that in a good way.

There are dozens and dozens and dozens more people writing up the world as they see it and I think it’s all awesome.

KelseyFlynn.com is a babe in Blog Wooods compared to them all so the blogroll down on the right of this page is just getting started.  Please shoot me an E-mail if I don’t have yours and I’ll gladly slap it down there along with the rest of them.

When it comes down to it, all I got here on kf.com are stories.  No analysis, no punditry, just the distillate of this life of mine after it works its way through the still that’s my brain.  And by the looks of that last sentence, you’ll find no poetry here either.  That’s why Tommy Twilite’s site is good to have on hand.

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Posted in Artsy, Awesome, Downtown Stuff | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

OTR in T-Minus 4 Days

Our Town Revisited opens at the Academy of Music this Friday.  It’s our world premiere of a show that’s already headed for New York in July.

Teri Incampo as Teri Incampo

Teri Incampo as Teri Incampo

It’s a gem of a show if I do say so myself.  But honestly it’s very different from anything else I’ve been involved with on stage.  Sure there’s live music and live video but that’s just the start.  It’s more an experience to be witnessed as opposed to a play to be spectated, there’s a very active component to it for the audience.

Caroline Gart as Caroline Gart

Caroline Gart as Caroline Gart

There is definitely narrative, definitely a story that is being told, but it’s more a choose-your-own-adventure than a one-size-story-fits-all.  I believe there are multiple entrances to this story with many threads being cast out for the people of the audience to grab a hold of.

Kelsey Flynn as Normandy Biggs

Kelsey Flynn as Normandy Biggs

Sure there’s the boy who met the girl.  But then the boy gets abducted and the girl has to come looking for him.  But it’s all for the best at the end.  Or is it?  And where is the end?  Sometimes, pretty much every time, the end is the beginning.

Double-fisting microphones is just the beginning of my egomania.

Double-fisting microphones is just the beginning of my egomania.

Come for the spectacle, stay for the story.

OUR TOWN REVISITED

APRIL 17 & 18 @ 8PM

APRIL 19 @ 2PM

Tickets available now at CABOTIX.COM.

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CONGRATULATIONS, LAURA AND PETER!

My mother and father are celebrating 50 years of wedded…bliss.  Sure.  Bliss.  Today is their Golden Anniversary.

Still frisky.  Oh, wait.  Sorry, that's the dog.

Still frisky. Oh, wait. Sorry, that's the dog.

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Posted in Mom and Dad | 1 Comment

Good Friday and Twitter

This church in Manhattan tweeted the Passion Play today.  As soon as I read about it, I signed up to follow them on Twitter right away.  From noon to three, the tweets started with each moment of Christ’s crucifiction.  (Tweet and crucifiction, two words you wouldn’t expect together.  Except maybe in the unreleased “Mary Poppins: Demon Seed from Hell”.)

As a Catholic who’s read and yawned through the Passion Play many times in her childhood, it gave an interesting urgency I’d never experienced before with posts like these:

twspassionplayvia @ServingGirl: Darkness and earthquake. I heard the curtain in the temple was torn in two. I wonder…

twspassionplayvia @Mary_Mother_Of: They sealed his tomb at dusk. The stone stands between us, and I can’t leave. I am an old woman now, lost in the dark.

twspassionplayvia @romanguard1: I’ve got dibs on his robe, but if you guys want to cast lots for the rest of his clothes I’m cool with that.

But when the tweets come in between other ones like these:

“Okay nice walk over to D&D and a big Ice coffee should get me through the next 2 hours.”

“Anselmos open but off to slow start. Only couple w pizza told me they waited a Long time.”
…it kind of loses something.

But points for marrying an ancient text and ritual with modern social networking.

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LOST: one bumper

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Bro #1: Dude, what’s wrong?

Bro #2: I can’t find my bumper.

Bro #1: Where’d you have it last?

Bro #2: I don’t know.

Bro #1: Well, think.

Bro #2: I had it in the pocket of my hoodie all night last night.  But I just checked that and it wasn’t in there.

Bro #1:  So it fell out.

Bro #2:  Yeah.  I guess so.

Bro #1:  That sucks.  You’re never gonna find it now.  Something like that…could be anywhere.

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Question, Downtown…

Have you ever noticed the not one but two mailboxes in front of A2Z Science and Learning Store? Why two? They both have the same pick-up times (3pm Monday – Friday, 10am Saturday).

A2Z on King Street in Northampton with the most helpful friendly staff ever.

A2Z on King Street in Northampton with the most helpful friendly staff ever.

Don’t get me wrong.  I love having a mailbox for my mail on my walk to work.  But having two to choose from really fuels my already off-the-charts anxiety.  Is this the best one to mail the mortgage?  Maybe the postperson only takes from the other one today.  Maybe this one is the prop mailbox.

Why the choice?

Choices, choices.

Choices, choices.

And as if the choice between two isn’t enough, the one on the left sits up on this cement block as if it were a pharmacist – lording just a few inches over the other one.  Honestly, what gives?

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Posted in Downtown Stuff | Tagged , , | 3 Comments
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